Two And A Half Men (2003)
Required UC: 2 per episode
Creater: Lee Aronsohn, Chuck Lorre
Actors: Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher and Angus T. Jones
Summary: A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Season
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
24 Can You Feel My Finger
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23 Just Like Buffalo
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22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
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21 No Sniffing, No Wowing
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20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
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19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
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18 An Old Flame with a New Wick
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17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
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16 That Was Saliva, Alan
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15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
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14 I Can't Afford Hyenas
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13 Sarah Like Puny Alan
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12 Camel Filters and Pheromones
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11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
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10 Merry Thanksgiving
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09 Phase One, Complete
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08 Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
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07 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
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06 Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monke
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05 The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
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04 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to T
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03 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hel
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02 Big Flappy Bastards
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01 Pilot
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24 Does This Smell Funny to You
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23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
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22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
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21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
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20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
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19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
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18 It Was Mame, Mom
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17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!
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16 Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?
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15 Smell the Umbrella Stand
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14 Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
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13 Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów
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12 A Lung Full of Alan
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11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
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10 The Salmon Under My Sweater
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09 Yes, Monsignor
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08 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
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07 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
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06 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
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05 Bad News from the Clinic
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04 Go Get Mommy's Bra
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03 A Bag Full of Jawea
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02 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
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01 Back Off Mary Poppins
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24 That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
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23 Arguments for the Quickie
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22 Just Once with Aunt Sophie
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21 And the Plot Moistens
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20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
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19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
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18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler
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17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
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16 Ergo, the Booty Call
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15 My Tongue Is Meat
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14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
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13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
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12 That Special Tug
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11 Santa's Village of the Damned
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10 Something Salted and Twisted
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09 Madame and Her Special Friend
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08 That Voodoo That I Do Do
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07 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
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06 Hi, Mr. Horned One
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05 We Called It Mr. Pinky
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04 Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
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03 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
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02 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
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01 Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
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24 Prostitutes and Gelato
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23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
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22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
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21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
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20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
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19 Smooth as a Ken Doll
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18 It Never Rains in Hooterville
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17 I Merely Slept with a Commie
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16 Young People Have Phlegm Too
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15 My Damn Stalker
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14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
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13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer
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12 Castrating Sheep in Montana
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11 Walnuts and Demerol
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10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln
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09 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
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08 Release the Dogs
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07 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
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06 Apologies for the Frivolity
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05 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
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04 A Pot Smoking Monkey
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03 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
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02 Who's Vod Kanockers
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01 Working for Caligula
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19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
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18 If My Hole Could Talk
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17 Fish in a Drawer
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16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
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15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
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14 Winky-Dink Time
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13 The Soil is Moist
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12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
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11 Meander to Your Dander
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10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
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09 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
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08 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
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07 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
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06 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
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05 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
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04 City of Great Racks
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03 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
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02 Media Room Slash Dungeon
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01 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
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24 Baseball Was Better with Steroids
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23 Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
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22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
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21 Above Exalted Cyclops
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20 Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
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19 The Two Finger Rule
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18 My Son's Enormous Head
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17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
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16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
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15 I'd Like to Start with the Cat
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14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
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13 I Think You Offended Don
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12 Thank God for Scoliosis
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11 The Devil's Lube
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10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
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09 The Mooch at the Boo
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08 Pinocchio's Mouth
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07 Best H.O. Money Can Buy
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06 It's Always Nazi Week
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05 A Jock Strap in Hell
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04 The Flavin' and the Mavin'
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03 Damn You, Eggs Benedict
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02 Pie Hole, Herb
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01 Taterhead Is Our Love Child
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22 This Is Not Gonna End Well
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21 Gumby with a Pokey
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20 I Called Him Magoo
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19 Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave
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18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
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17 I Found Your Moustache
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16 Tinkle Like a Princess
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15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
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14 Crude and Uncalled For
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13 Yay, No Polyps
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12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
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11 Warning, It's Dirty
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10 That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'
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09 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
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08 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
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07 Untainted by Filth
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06 Give Me Your Thumb
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05 For the Sake of the Child
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04 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
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03 Mmm, Fish. Yum.
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02 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
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01 818-jklpuzo
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16 That Darn Priest
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15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
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14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs
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13 Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
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12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
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11 Dead from the Waist Down
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10 Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
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09 A Good Time in Central Africa
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08 Springtime on a Stick
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07 The Crazy Bitch Gazette
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06 Twanging Your Magic Clanger
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05 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
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04 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
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03 A Pudding-Filled Cactus
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02 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
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01 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
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24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
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23 The Straw in My Donut Hole
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22 Why We Gave Up Women
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21 Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'
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20 Grandma's Pie
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19 Palmdale, Ech
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18 The War Against Gingivitis
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17 Not in My Mouth!
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16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
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15 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
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14 A Possum on Chemo
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13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
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12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
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11 What a Lovely Landing Strip
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10 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
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09 Frodo's Headshots
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08 Thank You for the Intercourse
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07 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
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06 The Squat and the Hover
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05 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro
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04 Nine Magic Fingers
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03 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
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02 People Who Love Peepholes
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01 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
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23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
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22 My Bodacious Vidalia
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21 Another Night with Neil Diamond
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20 Bazinga! That's from a TV Show
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19 Episode 18
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18 The 9:04 from Pemberton
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17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
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16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
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15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
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14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!
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13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line
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12 Welcome to Alancrest
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11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole
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10 One Nut Johnson
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09 I Scream When I Pee
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08 Something My Gynecologist Said
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07 Avoid the Chinese Mustard
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06 Ferrets, Attack!
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05 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
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04 You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For
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03 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
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02 A Big Bag of Dog
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01 I Changed My Mind About the Milk
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22 Oh, Wald-e, Good Times Ahead
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21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
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20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
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19 Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick
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18 West Side Story
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17 Welcome Home, Jake
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16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
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15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
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14 Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
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13 Bite Me, Supreme Court
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12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
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11 Taze in the Lady Nuts
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10 On Vodka, on Soda, on Blender, on Mixer!
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09 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
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08 Mr. Walden, He Die, I Clean Room
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07 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
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06 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
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05 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
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04 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
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03 This Unblessed Biscuit
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02 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
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01 Nangnangnangnang
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15 Of Course He's Dead Part 1
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14 Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
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13 Boompa Loved His Hookers
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12 A Beer-Battered Rip-Off
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11 For Whom the Booty Calls
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10 Here I Come, Pants!
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09 Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
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08 Clockwise in Back Hole Until Tight
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07 Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
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06 Alan Shot a Little Girl
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05 Oontz, Oontz, Oontz
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04 Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
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03 Glamping in a Yurt
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02 A Chic Bar in Ibiza
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01 The Ol' Mexican Spinach
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